the discomfort of comfort eating

these cheeks 

like saddles on both sides of an ass-like face

they weigh on me where i go

its fine

I’m not charlotte right now

I’m fat charlotte

this is what fat charlotte would do

yeah stuff another ice cream in between those ass-cheeks 

my willpower drained away long ago

replaced by lazing oozing lipids

dripping down my veins

spread out beneath the lines of my skin

with a smug smile 

hateful dimples to match

sneering from the sides of my thighs

splaying out and watching gleefully

sugary sin pass through my lips

cherry a-top a soft roll

so long old friend: self-control

disarmed by lack of charm

Your awkwardness is disarming

You take my cloak of self-assuredness

And drop it

clumsily

on the floor. 

bite me

Theres nothing better than talking without words

your gaze caught me like a fly in a web

and every time i wanted to crawl back 

to be again entangled by those magnetic spindles. 

if from my image you could be fed

I'd put myself on the bullseye

ready to be predated by those pupils, black

give me your tongue too

I'll quench your thirst

now lets wait and see

who will bite who first.

Spines Intertwined

Spines intertwined

I gasp as your velour brushes mine

Two humans in gods intended form

My ear with your kisses adorned.

Maokong

we howled like feral children

and the constructs of society

with our voices

were swept away with the wind.

in that moment we lost an element of civility 

because civilisation is what keeps us all looking through the same window

forgetting to try and see

what might be on the other side.

That’s what that place did to us

that dark surface of the moon

overlooking immeasurable sparks and glimmers

mankind’s ominous mark

reminding us we’d have to return to 

turning the wheels of the world

but for now

this place was ours

it enveloped us in its soft darkness

the scent of the earth’s hair 

we nuzzled it with inquisitive minds.

as we walked through the entrails of this place,

we realised we had been here all along.

The imagined life

sometimes id rather imagine life than live it

like watching it through a screen

the lights seem less harsh

looking through frosted glass

its too stimulating, too exciting to actually live

instead let those images dance before my eyes 

let my mind manipulate the flow of reality

the path of unknown 

unpredictable as english weather

id rather not leave the house then

because what if i needed a jacket when i thought I didn’t

what a calamity

no no

better not risk it

in the reality show

reflected against the screen of my mind

it can always be sunny if i want

even if i miss those warm rays stroking my neck

at least I’ll always be sheltered from the storms

no no

better not risk it

ill stay right here watching my shows

Noise

do you see how i fill the room with noise

it smothers the buzz that is always there

trailing around my forehead

hiding beneath the line of my hair

stinging my scalp

ruthlessly piercing holes

so drop by drop bits of me fall out.