Love Mist

I think i love you

But thoughts can be ignored,

Like a blurry cloud,

If i stare just right at the sky,

In your eyes,

It will disappear.

And I know I cannot kiss you.

I don’t dare shatter

The iridescent bubble of friendship

Ink stained with deceit

For then we’ll see things clearly

And walk our ways alone

For the mist no longer keeps us.

I couldn’t meet up yesterday because I was disintegrating

I couldn’t meet up yesterday 

because I was disintegrating

like an orange peel

exchanging its soul with the earth

I laid there still

waiting for the ground

to drink me in.

God's voice

Once I was a sailor
Sailed to a faraway land
With salt in the air
And liquorice sand
I could hear God's voice there
In the whistling winds
And the waves that washed the shore
In the flutters of the leaves
And the echoes of birds' calls.
But most of all God spoke to me in the silence
In the gaps between
In the vastness before me
He filled every edge of the canvas
No matter how far I turned
So that my whole being was overwhelmed by sunlight.
And I smiled at each sparkle on the ocean's surface
Collected them like treasure to fill my heart
So that I never need look outside the walls of my being to see beauty
For from this moment I'll never part.

The days peel slowly

The days peel slowly
Like a grey plaster
And each day I feel rawer and rawer
Thrust into the light
When all I'd like is to hide.
I know I'll have to feel the pain eventually
But for now let me pretend that the wounds and the world don't exist.

Walk through the park

Everything is so still
Trees poised
Like the set of a play
And we humans are the actors
Immersing ourselves in a fantasy scape

Layer upon layer of feathered green
The leaves stretching out to reach us
The white sky shimmering as those paper cut branches sail by
Against the serene sea of my mind.

Morning Commute

The sky looks like my sheets
When I peered through them blurrily this morning
Or like an ocean of white
Tides paused in motion.
I felt the rumble of a storm on the horizon
Sea air sweeping my face,
Before I boarded my train.

the discomfort of comfort eating

these cheeks 

like saddles on both sides of an ass-like face

they weigh on me where i go

its fine

I’m not charlotte right now

I’m fat charlotte

this is what fat charlotte would do

yeah stuff another ice cream in between those ass-cheeks 

my willpower drained away long ago

replaced by lazing oozing lipids

dripping down my veins

spread out beneath the lines of my skin

with a smug smile 

hateful dimples to match

sneering from the sides of my thighs

splaying out and watching gleefully

sugary sin pass through my lips

cherry a-top a soft roll

so long old friend: self-control