Ghost

How can a ghost with no figure or weight
stick deep in my side and cause so much pain
There he is at the crossing, there he is on the train
There he is when I stare through the mist of the rain

I thought that with time you would fade and you have
But invisible splinters are hard to pull out
I squeeze and I squeeze but to no avail
Your name sticks up sharp on my skin - devil's braille

Shadows of your face spin around and around
Like a worm in my brain that I have to dig out
You left fleas of madness and they've mingled with mine
So offspring in madness divide and divide

Brain cells disperse like bubbles away
On futile missions to find you again
They drift in their pairs and they cannot be still
So the void that I feel grows bigger to fill

Unrequited

Are my thoughts true

they tell me I love you

but I can't be sure

because such a notion

does not cleanly fit

into the lines of reality

such an idea is one that can only exist in the dark

for who knows how it will react in the light

where the scrutiny of lucidity might burn it to dust

that gets in my eyes

and I can't blink it away no matter how hard I try

am I feeding myself with lies?

I need something to make me feel whole

but keeping this inside is eating away at me

those worms of discretion writhe with vigour

they tickle me when I'm with you

so I can't help but laugh at the air

when really with each breath I'm breathing despair

because I know you'll let go of my hand all too easily

release me from embrace a moment too soon

my passionate kiss you'll return with a peck

but still I can't let go

can't hang up the phone

even though I know you will first

I'm just waiting

dangling like a telephone cord

for you to pick me up at your desire

assuage my fire

To the boy I never loved

To the boy I never loved.

Writing about you is more painful than writing about anyone else I’ve longed for before. 

Probably because I got a taste of you before you were ripped away. 

The bitterness lingers on my tongue. 

It begins to burn and tingle as i let words about you surface from the depths of my mind. 

Like forgotten corpses floating into view. 

It still hurts that i was never loved by you.

"_"

Prism of life

Prison of mind

The implicit forces that bend us in every which way

Is it truth i see or lies

For when even reality belies the truth

What can i really be sure of

The loudest voices surround us in block colours

Painting the world with their convictions

But only if you’re really quiet 

Look past what there is to see

Will the nebulous truth emerge 

Flicker by flicker

Speck by speck

And if you blink too quickly 

It will be gone

Disc of you

You left the disc of you
For me to watch alone
Around and around it plays
The eject button erased
So all I can do is see images of you face
Go around and around
The childlike grin
Fleeting glances
A cheeky glint from the side of your eye

I carry each face in my backpack
Flick through them in spare moments
They project into reality
Distorting what I see
Casting a shadowy hue over all I do

Since I can't stop watching
Play it again and again
I can't help but wonder
If you're watching the disc of me too

Love me in the dark

Can’t you kiss me with your eyes closed?

Sometimes I feel you’re too awake to see me

So love me in the dark then

If at night your thoughts wander to me

I’ll be waiting with open arms

And if your body wanders

You’ll hold me naked in your palm

Each of Us

To think of every life that has passed

Every life that is passing

Timelines intertwined

Every pain, hope, astounding joy

And to think if you combined all of those feelings

Pooled them together

Each quivering orb

Would it not make the earth tremble

Against the vast blackness of the universe?

Yet motion allows stillness

And between each throb 

Is each of us

Holding our breath

Looking up beyond the stars

And in a flicker of light,

We’re gone.