The darkness is never-ending

I don’t trust myself so how can I trust anyone

How can I trust anything

I don’t trust that this tunnel has an end

but its ok

I’m used to it

I’m used to the rancid smell of despair which invades the air

The omnipresent dark has become a friend

that i could not bear to part with.

it envelops me from every angle

enters every crevice

whispering with voice like smoke that its ok to stay here

humming haunting lullabies

so that i realise my tiredness

and sink my head into an earthy pillow. 

Amaya (Night Rain)

The rain pours against my window in the dark

Pitter patter

The tears of those who cannot sleep

They knock persistently 

saying ‘’please let me in’’ 

hold me in your warmth

hide me in the soft white you slumber in

so it can smother the harsh voices which haunt me

Like snow which hides our past trespasses 

silences every footstep

blankets our sorrows with its beauty

Make me feel the same as I did when I was a child

and I tasted one of those floating sugar crystals on my tongue

and I felt my soul embers burning brightly

Maybe if you hold me tight enough

I can remember that warmth

and I'll stop bothering you in the night 

but I'll dream sweet dreams

where we play together in the snow. 

She is sweet

she is sweet

i take in the nectar of her scent

whilst nuzzling plump blushing skin

covered with its translucent velvet

i drink her in

her honey juices

trickle down my chin

how could something so divine be produced of this earth?

she is tender

so very ready 

her perfume intoxicates me

i wish to never part with her saccharine flesh

coloured by the suns caress

oh what a ripe peach!

My throat is dry

My throat is dry

Let me drink in your praises

So I can laugh again

Like a babbling brook

Rocks soaked in the glittering 

saliva of the earth. 

Goblet of Youth

Time slips through my fingers like water

before I get a chance to drink it in.

Just as droplets jump with frenzied desperation 

from the table-top edge,

Salty tears splatter in untiring array 

as I try to refill the spilt goblet of youth.

I crave for my cracked lips 

to be bathed in the tranquil azure of possibilities

that rise like steam before lazy, overslept eyes.

For the saline potion to bring me back

like a jolt from a dream

to the words unspoken,

the mist veiled paths unexplored,

the hand which never learned to yearn
the lingering ghost of my fingers.

Buzz

Days drift by like shadows before I can catch a glimpse

I look at my hand and try to remember the feeling of your fingers between mine.

Icy air passes through my lungs
onerously
as if they are bored of breathing.

I watch the grey sky and wonder how long these clouds plan to stay.

I wander the city,

lost

not with the usual sense of novel excitement though.

In and out of bookshops like a subtle breeze,

through bustling coffee shops in hopes 

that their percussion 

will drown out those voices I do not want to hear.

Through lazy parks

where motion is on pause.

This green haze leads me to a blissful suffocation

where lack of ventilation means my mind too slows

even if just for a moment.

But then I must go on

I cannot stop

If I stop I will surely be consumed

I fear the night the most 

when I must stay in the dark

stay in one place

where the speed of my body cannot match the speed of my mind.

I wander like a bumblebee that cannot see the way out 

even though to others it is clear as the crystal glass 

as a cloudless sky.

But how to make these clouds go away

I huff and I puff but with little result except my head hurts

the pain is dull and aching

it spins around and around

so I cannot seek solace in even one corner of my mind

Clear Umbrella

She had a clear umbrella

Because she never wanted to hide the colour of the sky.

Even when the sun was swallowed by grey,

She would look up and smile

Because she knew the clouds would soon pass.